Poirot is a hero 5

 

The girls were trying to sit up, but they looked groggy and unfocused. Maybe they were drugged, thought Barney.

‘I’ll be back in a tick, Masika. Poirot, you stay here’.

Despite cats not really understanding and obeying orders, for once Poirot seemed to be understanding what he was supposed to do. He spread out on the bed, purring and rubbing his head against Masika.

Barney went back through the wardrobe and informed Aggie of the developments.

‘I don’t think I can walk them out, yet. They seem to be drugged, and they can hardly communicate. Can you phone your mate in the police? I’ll go back in. Wish I had something to defend myself with – I don’t fancy having a fight with Mr Popular.’

‘Go back to my room, Barney. Take the toy – you know which one I mean- out of the drawer and wrap it in a sock. Use it as a cosh, if need be.’

Barney followed these instructions. He felt a little foolish to have a rather large rubber penis in a sock but decided it was better than nothing. Aggie was on the phone. When Barney passed to get back into the wardrobe she gave him a thumbs-up.

Barney went into the room again. Masika seemed a bit more aware; Poirot headbutted her gently.

‘Masika, can you understand me?’ said Barney. ‘We’ve come to get you out. Who has put you in here?’

‘The two brothers. We were to be transported to a different part of the country to become sexworkers. Help us, please, Mr Barney.’

‘Aggie is phoning the police, Masika. Soon you’ll be safe. Try and wake up Imeni, please.’

Then they heard a sound in the tunnel.

‘Who is that?’

‘That will be Mr Dickson. He is a bad man. Gave us something to keep us quiet.’

Barney smelled the aftershave before he saw the man.

‘What the fuck are you doing here?’

‘Let the girls go, asshole.’

‘They are worth a lot. I need the money, since I won’t have this job for much longer.’

Shielding Masika and Imeni, Barney made himself as big and broad as he could. Unfortunately, that wasn’t much compared to Dickson, who was built as a brick house and could hardly get through the door. Dickson pulled out a knife and Barney realised that he had to set his peace-loving mindset aside, if he were to emerge from this alive. He lifted the dick-in-a-sock and swung it in the direction of the care home manager. At the same time Poirot sprang into action. When the cosh made contact, Dickson staggered backwards. Poirot made the most awful sound Barney had ever heard and attacked Dickson. The cat seemed to be two sizes bigger than normal; biting, snarling, time and again finding Dickson’s unprotected flesh. The manager stood and tried to get Poirot off his back. As soon as Barney saw a chance, he whacked Dickson over the head again and, to his surprise, Dickson went down and stayed down. Poirot stood on his chest and kept snarling.

Just then two officers showed up; Aggie’s former pal one of them. They quickly put the cuffs on Dickson. Another two officers arrived, and between the two of them, Masika and Imeni, as well as Dickson were helped out.

When the party emerged in the light, they saw they were standing in the waffle shop. Dickson’s brother, the waffle shop manager, was also handcuffed. Aggie had wheeled herself around the corner so as to miss nothing of the rescue. Barney was still holding the cosh.

‘Excuse me, officers. Can you please cover your ears when you walk these two gentlemen into the van, and let me have a brief moment with them?’

As a courtesy to a former colleague, they granted Aggie’s request. The brothers Dickson stood in front of her. Poirot had taken his customary place on her lap, sitting straight up and occasionally uttering a sharp ‘chchchch’. Aggie took a deep breath and let the silence grow.

‘You fucking miserable wankers. You utterly despicable members of the human race, if you are actually human. Enslaving and harming innocent women and girls. I hope you get a nice fucking long time at His Majesty’s service. And I am sure you will gain a lot of friends in prison but probably not ones you want. Do I give a fuck? No, I don’t. You fucking bawbags, I wish you a long and not so peaceful stretch in the fucking nick. Now fuck off, you two.’

With that the two criminals were shoved in the van, never to be seen again.

Aggie’s former pal made sure that Marisa and Imeni, who was waking up, were comfortably ensconced in another police car, with a female officer. He assured Aggie and Barney they would be taken care of by a modern slavery charity. They would let Barney and Aggie know when they could meet up.

‘You can lay down your weapon now,’ the officer said to Barney. Realising he was still clutching the cosh, he tried to shove it in his pocket. In doing so, the police officers were treated to the sight of a large, fluorescent rubber penis. When it hit the floor, it turned on, and lay there, buzzing and wriggling.

Barney turned red and even Aggie displayed a faint blush. 

‘What are you looking at? Can’t a girl have some fun nowadays?’

 

 One month later

 

Aggie, Barney, Masika and Imeni were sitting in a shaded place in the garden. The weather was exceptionally nice, and Aggie had decided she wanted a wee celebration. They were joined by DI Campbell. Barney had sourced drinks and poured Aggie and himself a large measure in her glass of coke. Masika, Imeni and Campbell kept to the alcohol-free offerings. They exchanged all the news: about the court case that would soon begin and how the two sisters got on with their asylum application. Then a familiar figure joined them and put a large cardboard box on the table.

‘Bacon Buttie, anyone?’, said Iain, and opened the box.

‘Iain, that is such a good idea,’ said Barney. ‘I could murder one of these.’

‘Please, don’t mention the word murder, Barney. There is too much foul language used nowadays,’ said Aggie. ‘We need to be a little more peaceful.’

With that, the others stopped eating and looked at Aggie. Poirot saw his chance. He jumped up on the table and pilfered a bacon buttie, and before anyone could react, he was sitting under a bush demolishing it. Everything was as it should be.